Rest, retreat, play
This week has been tense. With the upcoming move, stresses of work, and my alter ego coming in to say hi( my period)...I haven’t had much room for self love. I’ve felt frustrated and just overly worked so what better way to unwind, rest and go into a small dream then to masturbate.
I wanted to take some time this week to talk about the importance of self play, sensual thought space and looking at your body.
Now if you’re anything like me, you have a general masturbation routine.
Mine consists of pulling up some porn, settling into my covers and turning on my best friend, my confidante, my mini shibari. A caveat to this routine is the utter ease of it and i find the more porn i watch, the less interested I am in more subtle pleasures. Light touches, imagining sex with someone, etc. That being said I wanted to be persistent in learning new ways to become aroused.
So one thing I do to shake this around is erotic reading, erotic meditating and slow self touch. With each of these techniques I find a new part of myself to enjoy and also notice I have more confidence in the bedroom when telling a partner how I want to be pleased.
Erotic meditation for me is intentionally thinking in quiet, with my eyes closed of a situation...a little daydream of sorts to get me going and into a headspace of bliss. This technique however is age old and started with roots in the Kama sutra. Not only does it help regain sexual confidence, it allows you to strengthen bonds within yourself, and free up space for your desires to grow.
Slow self touch has also been such a great way for me to learn my body and touching not only my breasts/vagina but my legs, stomach,etc have made me more aware of my whole body. I think it’s very easy to forget in the grand scheme but knowing how sensual touch should feel, starting with yourself can help you set up experiences with partners. Another way I practice is by looking at my body in the mirror, unclothed, in all its glory. Examining yourself not for flaws but appreciating its being can help you see what needs attention. While masturbating, using that mindfulness in the way you touch yourself can really open some doors.
Consistently holding this space is so healthy. You’re able to create time to destress, relax in a healthy sexual relationship with yourself, and work through learning your body. When you can be more aware of your inner wants, it’s easier to be open with what you are needing from a sexual relationship.
Let’s also talk toys!
I’m a huge fan of vibrators(OG wand, Cresendo, and Shibari) and love using them with partners during sex.
In addition to vibrators I also enjoy weighted beads for my vagina, not only does this strengthen your walls, but it can lead to stronger orgasms.
Next on my list to play with is clone-a-Willy...let me text my booty call and see if we can set a date 😈💦.
Keep your mind wandering, legs shaking, and questions coming...
Till next week.