I wanted my first post to be an answer to a question I’ve been getting a lot lately: “How do I have variation in sex with a larger partner?”

My immediate response is just try shit and stop being scared of big bodies! Practically, I know this answer can be frustrating so I’ve been thinking of a couple positions that work for me.
Let’s start there and then get into my feelings piece...

1. “Reverse cowgirl”

This position does a lot for both you on top and them. Ass for days, leverage for you by using their legs as an anchor of sorts, and the power play.

2. “Sideways spoon”

A bit more complicated to explain but easy work for you and daddy( excuse my gender assuming nicknames). Laying down partner comes up behind you as if yo spoon and then angles himself so he can be inside of you. This is another favorite for booty lovers and also feels very intimate as you can turn around and look at them do the deed.

3. “ Modified Missionary”

This requires something high enough that when you lay on it you meet your partners pelvis while they are standing. A tall bed with you at the edge, couch, counter, desk, etc. Instead of maintaining that upright posture he’ll lean over the same as you would in laying down missionary and can lift a foot for more leverage. Not super strenuous and very intimate for ya both.

4. “Shower scene”

This can really be done anywhere not just the shower but I enjoy the steamy, soapy, sexiness of the shower so this position is a go to for me. Standing, open legs up to a bit past shoulder width and bend over, grabbing the lowest point you can (ankles or otherwise). That additional width give you more stability and less height, depending on where your partners pelvis hits you.

5. “Butterfly”

Butterfly position, you should be scooted to the edge of the bed. He can penetrate you with your legs up against his chest. The key is to keep your legs straight so they’re not pushed back against your tummy and breasts, which might not feel so great.

However, you can easily modify this position by wrapping your legs around his waist or simply having him hold your thighs while your legs extend straight out behind him. If you lie on your stomach instead, you’ll be in the Superwoman position.


I know these aren’t crazy positions but the basics are fun, can be extremely passionate and more accessible, especially for bigger men (cowgirl especially). Keep in mind having sex with someone who is larger doesn’t mean not exploring things! Modification is key. Stretching also does wonders and if you find yoga to be a complete drag, use the bed as your mat ;). This is a chance for your partner to help move your body in new and exciting ways with your discretion.

More questions?

Email ya girl! But until then...look out for next weeks post.





Exploring Sex with a plus sized partner